All too often I witness people falling victim of the comparison trap. It may not even cross some peoples minds, but it’s honestly something that should have more awareness than it does.
Comparing yourself to others, whether it is about your body, fitness, nutrition, appearance, or anything else, is paving a way to self-destruction.
I’ll be honest, I’ve done it. I’m sure you have done it, and we are only human. It’s natural to see something we like or want and want the same exact thing. But really, how realistic is that?
“Wow, she has a 6-pack, why don’t I have a 6-pack?”
“He doesn’t eat carbs? I shouldn’t either then!”
“They just ran 10 miles and I only ran 4.. Should I have run more?”
“She can shoulder press 30 lb. dumbbells? I can only do 12, I’m weak.”
Does this sound familiar to you? With all the social media out there, it’s so easy to fall into this trap. You see tons of pictures on instagram, a bunch of tweets, and tons of motivation on pinterest of food, fitness, abs, etc.
The thing is, everyone is SO DIFFERENT – in ALL aspects.
Everyone has a different body type, different height, different weight, different caloric needs.
Everyone is at a different stage in their fitness journey – some people have been running or lifting weights for years, and some people have just started.
Everyone LOOKS different, has a different hair type, has different styles, looks, features.
Everyone has a different way of eating that works for them – vegan, paleo, vegetarian, low-carb, no-carb, high-protein, high-fat, whatever.
There is no one-size fits all for anything. Many times, we have no idea what goes behind the scenes into people’s lives. Maybe someone has a food allergy, that doesn’t mean that you do and you have to do exactly what they are doing. Maybe someone can’t even run a mile, so they focus on weight lifting and have had years of practice, that doesn’t mean you are weak.
WHO KNOWS. Let me ask you this – what has comparing yourselves to others done for you? Has it ever been positive? More than likely, it hasn’t. It has left you feeling down and bad about yourself.
Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing other peoples lifestyles, successes, progress, etc. I truly love it, and I want to cheer them on! Some people even motivate me to better myself or to give myself that extra push in the gym.
However, I know that I cannot strive to be someone else. It’s unrealistic, and honestly pretty silly.
I am a firm believer in having goals and working your butt off to reach them. I know I have my OWN goals, but I do not make goals that are unattainable.
You are you for a reason. You can spend all your time focusing on trying to be someone else and driving yourself insane, or you can focus on being the best you. You can better yourself and reach your own goals, set your own records, and build your own body the way you want to.
You’re in control of your mind, body, and health – not anyone else. Stop comparing yourself to others, and do what is best for you.
Have you ever compared yourself to others?
Has doing so ever been positive, or only negative?
No related posts.
ahhh this was me in college.
ALWAYS AND COMPLETELY.
It took me a while to really “get” the highlight reel notion—and when I did it was a life changer.
Miz recently posted..Im a TOUGH GIRL…
So true! I had fallen into the comparison trap recently, but I think I’ve pretty much dug myself out of it. Just because it works for someone else doesn’t mean that it’s right for you. It’s really hard to pull anything positive out of it – in my experience, it just results in you feeling badly about yourself and your abilities, and possible pushing yourself into something that your body really doesn’t want to do.
Love the image with The Rock, by the way :-p
Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted..Gone Brunette.
When I was young, I definitely compared myself to others more than I care to admit. The worst for me was when I suffered a bad break up my senior year of high school and then when I joined a sorority in college. I was already lacking self-esteem and seeing these other girls beautiful, happy and carefree really messed with my emotions. Now that I am a little older I am growing to be more comfortable in my iwnskinand more loving to myself
great post girl!
i still catch myself in the comparison trap from time to time, especially at the gym then I have to remind myself little things like I run and just started lifting weights I cant lift 30lbs but hopefully one day can! Even I see skinny girls sometimes and have to remind myself that I was once that skinny and dont want to ever be that again. Comparison sucks, but I try hard to catch myself and change it to positive thinking. Not easy but every try counts!
kaity @ kaityscooking recently posted..sunday not that much of a funday
I just wrote a blog post about this. I’m thinking a lot of people are feeling the same way right about now. We are all beautiful in our own way. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Renae @ MissFit Mixed Chick recently posted..I’m done…
Great post! I have fallen into this trap with running a LOT. I compare myself to others who have been running a lot longer than me and get frustrated when I am much slower etc. Now I try to beat my own times!
Good job!!!
ah what a great post. the comparison trap is one that I know I fall into from time to time and it really does take a toll. I think being confident in who you are and who you are meant to be is the way to counteract those thoughts. but social media does make it tricky ground to achieve. thanks for posting such a great perspective that I know many can relate to!
Alex @ therunwithin recently posted..What I don’t Say
Yes, confidence is key!!
This post is what so many people need to hear! I think it is so hard to not let yourself fall into this comparison trap but at the same time once you stop comparing so many wonderful things happen! Especially in the blog world it is hard not to compare your workouts and meals to that of someone else but bottom line is we are all individuals with individual needs goals and desires and the fact that we are each unique is what makes life so awesome!
Danielle @clean food creative fitness recently posted..Marvelous in my Monday!
I agree!! <3
I definitely get stuck on comparisons more often than I’d like to admit. It’s a dangerous trap that is really influenced even more by social media. I wish I, and everyone else, could learn to just be their own person and not focus on what others are doing because we would be so much healthier AND happier if we could just let it all go. It frustrates me to no end sometimes when I get caught up in it but when I’m just being me, I’m so much better off. This was a great post to read this morning.
Sarah @PickyRunner recently posted..“Don’t drink all of my coconut water!”
Oh, meee tooo!
This is such a great post – i fall victim to negative comparison all the time; i think it makes it worse constantly seeing stuff on instagram + social media networks etc; thinking that youre not as good as other people etc.
Definitely need to work on acceptance a bit more and slowly getting there haha! All you can do I guess is try to be a bit better than you were yesterday and not care about what anyone else is doing with regards to how you view yourself.
P.S love the cute fruit picture; its adorable!
Lift, Sleep, Eat recently posted..Creamy Dreamy Peanut Butter Pudding
You will get there, I promise! Stay positive<3
Wow, all of these are so motivational. Seriously. I think we have all fallen in the comparison trap and it’s hard to get out of it but it’s necessary to do in order to be happy. Great post.
Kammie @ Sensual Appeal recently posted..The BEST Roasted Butternut Squash
This is such an honest and thoughtful post. I have definitely fallen victim to comparing myself to others, and it generally never results in anything positive occurring. I have to be especially careful about not comparing myself with others, especially in the blog world. It can get a bit tricky, but I do my best!
Hannah @ CleanEatingVeggieGirl recently posted..Vietnamese Banh Mi-Inspired Sandwich
You got this!!
Ugh the comparison trap is so dangerous! And I feel like society definitely forces it upon us to live up to these ridiculous cookie cutter ideals. The older I get the more I’ve realized there’s no one right way, and though I may have “role models” and goals, I now try to use them to bring me up and motivate me, and making me more me, rather than destroying my sense of “me.”
Cassie @RedLetterDaye recently posted..MIMM: Moe., Puppy Bowls, and Trader Joe’s
Yes! Using others to motivate is so much better than just striving to BE someone else.
Another great post my friend!
I think most of us at some point have fallen victim to the awful trap, but it’s good to not get caught up in all of that. We can only be the best version of ourselves and no one else can ever compare to that!
Great, great post!
Lisa recently posted..Lovely Delights
Thank you!! Totally agree! <3
Thank you, great post. I do negatively compare myself instead of looking at my accomplishments. I have much to be proud of – I lost 127 lbs. Yes, I do not have a perfect body it I sure so have a healthier one!
That is AMAZING!!! Focus on how far you have come, you rock.
I fall into this trap all the time, and it is so easy being a blogger because you constantly see people posting their workouts. But I try to always remember to do me, and follow what my body says. Great post!
Sylvia @ Frolic Through Life recently posted..Lean Cuisine Culinary Collection
Great job!! Thank you!
I focus on bringing out the best that I can in myself. I have no one to compare myself too other than me, myself and I.
I used to compare but it brought me nowhere.
I am who I am and I love me, for me!
xo
Kierston recently posted..GrateFUl: Smiles, Fun, Love and Laughter…
Love this!
Love this post!
Thank you!
I used to! I’m getting better at it and I find staying off social media and being present with my family really helps. Everyone is blessed right where they’re standing.
maria @ lift love life recently posted..Toddler lunch ideas and how not to raise a picky eater
Totally agree!
Preach it, sister! Love this post, and couldn’t agree with you more. The comparison trap is dangerous, and more often than not, leads us down a slippery slope where we end up believing that our personal “best” (or best in that particular moment) isn’t good enough. Instead we should focus on being true to OURSELVES! Easier said than done, but I truly believe that listening to our own intuition is the only ticket to true health.
xoxo
Exactly!!! <3
I am completely guilty of doing this on a daily basis. Not just physicalities either. This post is just what I needed right now. You definitely inspired my next post.
Chloe recently posted..Embracing My Marvelous Monday
Awesome!!
I notice this all the time in the blog world (and the real world!) as well. And its definitely happened to me too! The difference is being able to recognize it and stop the comparison before you get swept up in it and start acting on unhealthy behaviors because of it. Great post Brittany!
Kaila @healthyhelperblog! recently posted..Run, Rehydrate, Refuel!
Thank you, Kaila!
I do this way too often (although I’m getting better). Thanks for such an inspiring post. Loved reading this today!
Elizabeth recently posted..WIAW #1: Almost 3 Full Days!
Thank you for reading!
Another absolutely brilliant post, Brittany! I’ve definitely fallen victim to the comparison trap before, and it led me down a dark, dark road. I love the quote about comparing our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel – we only see the good in other people’s lives and don’t see the problems and struggles that go on behind closed doors, while being all too familiar with our own. Everybody is so different, with such different needs, that it doesn’t make sense to compare… it’s like comparing apples to bananas – both are fantastic, but in completely different ways.
Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted... what’s in my makeup bag .
Thank you!! And exactly! <3
I have definitely done it, and it has generally been negative. It’s so darn easy to do, though I think I’m much better than I used to be.
Tiff @ Love Sweat and Beers recently posted..Trying to Fit in Fitness
Good!!!
I absolutely love this post. I’m totally guilty of playing the comparison game and it sucks the joy out of anything. We each have something wonderful to offer the world and it’s so important to focus on that. Keep at it.
Anna @ToughLipstick recently posted..Skinny News: Body Image and Your Heart
Agreeed!
I loved this post! It is so very easy to get wrapped up into what everyone else is doing or is NOT doing but I just have to remind myself sometimes to take a step back and remember that you’re doing this (eating healthy or working out or going to school) for YOU. No one else. You have to make yourself happy, its ok to be selfish!
Thanks for the uplifting post and the reminder!!
Michelle Tomes recently posted..Live Fit: Phase 1 Day 1
Yes!! You go girl.
Wow! Love, love, love this post! I have it flagged for future reads when needed! Why is it so hard for us as individuals to realize WE are only in charge of US & nobody else’s decisions can affect how we look. Great tidbits & images to help us remember. Thank you!
Katie @ KatieEnPursuit recently posted..Just Put Some Dip on It…
Yessss! <3
Great post – I especially love the fruit pic!
It is hard to not compare, especially when there are so many like-minded individuals blogging. You don’t want to feel that you’re not doing enough to be worthy of your blogging title, you know? So it is really tough to not get drawn in and compare yourself. I haven’t got there yet and find it immensely difficult as I’m naturally a competitive person. I try to use it to motivate myself but it is so hard to not let it consume you. I think everyone is a little guilty at some time or another! We just need to remember our own individuality first.
Anna @AnnaTheApple recently posted..My Skiing Adventures
Definitely!!! Thanks for your input
I do think competition can be healthy. Comparing yourself can make you better. There are definitely times where the competition led to me working harder to achieve my goals. But I have to say that it’s only been the arena of school or work. I find that for personal things (my body, my fitness) it has led down unhealthy paths in the past. But I’ve learned and I’m cautious now when making those comparisons.
I absolutely agree! I love seeing other peoples pictures t get motivated, but sometimes you need to be happy about yourself as well.
SO TRUE!!! I was actually at Life Church yesterday here in OKC and when Craig mentioned that quote by Stephen Furtick I wrote it down and put stars all around it! It was like a BAM moment- I am so, so guilty of comparing myself and my relationships to everything I see on social media. And honestly, it’s draining. Thanks for posting this girl! PS Do you go to Life Church in Florida?!
Brie recently posted..Chicken Tikka Masala!
No problem!
Nope, I do not! Where in Florida is that?
well said, it is so hard with everything right in your face all the time not compare. We all do it, but we all have to remind each other of this message – we are all different. be happy with our own body!
I am slowly getting better at believing in me and not let others bring me down. Instead use others to help inspire me to be a better me, not be like them.
purelymichelle recently posted..healthy valentines day recipes
Good for you!!! <3
Hands down, this is the best post I have read in sometime! Thanks love. I think we all fall into this at one time or another. For me… it is always negative thinking.
Brittany @ Delights and Delectables recently posted..MIMM #37 War Wounds and Downton Abbey
Thank you!!!<3
Awesome post! I’ve definitely fallen prey to the comparison trap – especially ever since I had to stop running because of my knees. It’s so hard to see people tweeting about all their successful runs when I can’t even run 2 minutes without pain. But I just have to remind myself that I’ll be back to running in the future and that there’s no point in comparing myself to others. It’s so much better to focus on what I CAN do!
Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin recently posted..Markets and meetings
There you go!! You’ll be back in no time
So needed this post today! Thanks girl!
You are very welcome!
This is such a great post! I definitely agree that everyone is so different and each person has their own needs in terms of food, exercise, and everything else. A one size fits all outlook just brings unhappiness and is simply feasible. All we can do is focus on being ourselves, and realize that there is not need to compare.
Gina @ Health, Love, and Chocolate recently posted..Food and Taxes
Agreed!!
Great advice. Comparing yourself to others is not healthy as everyone has different strenghts and weakness’s, like you said it is better to try to better yourself everyday rather than trying to compete with others.
Exactly!!
Great post, Brittany– and I love the fruit graphic haha. Comparison traps are seriously EVERYWHERE in the health/fitness industry, and its tough to be able to draw the line between “healthy” and “obsessive” sometimes. This is definitely a reality check that we could ALL benefit from!
Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance recently posted..Two Years, Epcot & A Cow
Great post, Brittany– and I love the fruit graphic haha. Comparison traps are seriously EVERYWHERE in the health/fitness industry, and its tough to be able to draw the line between “healthy” and “obsessive” sometimes. This is definitely a reality check that we could ALL benefit from!
Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance recently posted..Two Years, Epcot & A Cow
Thanks Brittany! It’s so true, but we just have to keep in mind that we can’t let it influence our thoughts!
I love this post. I struggle with this SO much. I have to remember that my body is totally different than everyone else’s so there is no reason to compare or try to be someone different. If I want to compare I should be comparing myself to the person I was 2 years ago who couldn’t run a mile w/o stopping and now I’m running a marathon!
Exactly!! You are perfect in your own way. That is AMAZING! I look up to you, because I don’t think I could ever run a full marathon ;D
I love this topic!!!! I was having a hard time the other day because that’s EXACTLY what I was doing. Although we KNOW better NOT to compare, sometimes we can’t help but let ourselves slip and compare. We’re all different and it definitely does take time to find out what works for YOU. I’m still trying to find what works best for me, which is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. I love when you post inspirational posts like this, thanks Britt!
It’s always a work in progress, but you got this! <3 I’m glad you love these posts!
LOVE this post, Brittany! I think I struggle with that sometimes, especially because of all the blogs I read! But I’m thankful that the blogging community (especially bloggers like yourself) are truly nothing but encouraging. I’d say that blogging has been the greatest thing for my self esteem!
Liz @ iheartvegetables recently posted..Thrifting Finds & RVA Brunch Club
Thank you!! I agree, I think blogging is absolutely amazing!
Hey there,
I have been reading your blog for just the past week or so when I stumbled upon it and I really needed this post. I am suffering/recovering from anorexia and over-exercising addictions and COMPARE MYSELF TO OTHER FEMALES ALL THE TIME!!! Call me the queen of comparison. I am on a path to gaining weight and being happy with who I am suppose to be, but it is SO HARD!!! Is there any advice you can give me??? I enjoy your posts!
I’m glad you enjoy my posts, thank you!! I don’t have much advice since I’ve never been there myself, but I would say just try to focus on YOU and only you! Tell yourself something you love about your body everyday and just try to have a positive outlook on everything. You got this, I’m rooting for you!! <3
OMG! I ADORE THAT PICTURE of the fruit!!! So cute and so true!
I actually do not compare myself with anyone else because I actually am at a place in my life where I truly love myself. I know that I cannot change much about me, so I just keep on living a healthy lifestyle filled with lots of sleep, healthy foods, laughter and love! Oh and of course, EXERCISE TOO!
GiGi Eats Celebrities recently posted..Brad Pitt Gets Down and Dirty With Pringles
Good for you!!! That’s how it should be
You’re awesome.
This post really resonates with me. I have a hard time accepting who I am and what I look like. I am naturally a bigger person with a large build but I want to be tiny, with super defined muscles. I need to just accept that this is me. I can strive to be the best me but I won’t look like ‘her’ (insert whoever I am aspiring towards that said day). I need your outlook!!
Karla @ myhighonlife recently posted..Perfect Weekend Getaway
i have struggled with this in the past to a terrible degree, and still now to some degree though now i am more aware of it and try to catch myself and consciously say, “no, stop, you are not her.” or “no, stop, just because he is full doesn’t mean you have to be full too”. first step is being aware, next step is putting that awareness into practice and battling those voices. you raise a great point – when is the last time comparing yourself to someone resulted in feeling good? it’s funny how we so often ignore those who’ve accomplished less (not that we should notice them and look down upon them!) and instead our attention gravitates towards those that do more, have more, etc. so negative! that’s why i’ve really been trying to focus on MY accomplishments and how i’ve improved since an earlier version of me, not how i compare to the present version of someone else.
Caitlin recently posted..WIAW Goes Nuttz!
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yummy.I like your post.I will try it.Recipes
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